BOOK
The most prominent theme I found in this book was the concept of immortality vs death. A secondary theme may have been midlife crises. But I think the midlife crisis idea was just used as a backdrop to the theme, because I guess that would be the biggest time where people would be questioning lots of decisions leading up to where they’ve “ended up” so to speak.
Throughout the book, we spend a lot of time following central character Amy, who is a Silicon Valley adjacent mom. She lives in and raises a family in San Francisco, she’s vaguely involved, maybe employed by or consulting for a tech start up that’s run by a friend’s son. This start up is centered around the idea of multiverses, what it would take for people to pay for a service like this and how to set it up legally, considering personal boundaries and things related. The company has decided to target a middle aged-older audience, as they think this will be the easiest sell.
Throughout the book, we learn more details about how Amy and her family have come to be and how they’ve come to where they are currently, how many children she and her husband have, how she and her husband met, the city and home they live in and, their children and friends and their respective professions. It all boils down to the fact that the makeup of this picture of life is the result of several small decisions made over time. Decisions that seemed correct at the time, decisions made as sacrifices for the good of the family or the benefit of the overall unit or just better for the individual.
Donny, the character exploring multiverses is a baby tech genius with a start up idea who wants to explore the concept of every other decision a person could have made that would have lead to different outcomes. The way that the program currently works is that it uses VR to actually show the user living these alternate realities as though they’d made the “other choice”.
This becomes relevant because Amy and her husband Dan begin to start experiencing some midlife fatigue, commonly referred to as a midlife crisis. Dan has been out of work for a while and feeling less than. Amy has been resentful about this, which leads to resentment about some of her other decisions, such as taking a lower paying job in order to prioritize Dan’s career and not trying harder to make it work with a previous relationship that she suspects may have worked out better for her. Feeling this way makes multiverse options sound very appealing.
When Donny initially creates a multiverse VR experience of Amy’s life, watching it feels very much like a violation for Amy. Things happen that are deeply personal and watching things happen to you that did not or have not, in fact, taken place, feels very manipulative to her and invasive. The astounding thing, is how easy it is for her the next time to desire to get lost in these possibilities and the questions that come up that she’d like to “solve” by participating in this technology again, even after having a strong averse reaction to it during the initial viewing. And the thing that sparks this is her growing dissatisfaction with her own current life.
Near the end of the book, Amy’s son’s best friend Kevin commits suicide, I think this plot point serves as a contrast to remind us that trying to relive or rethink these small life decisions that make up the whole, is a moot exercise. This boy, who had so much un-lived potential, doesn’t get the opportunity to ever experience more decisions and outcomes, good or bad.
OPINION
I thought that this book definitely had an interesting concept, which is why I put it on my list in the first place, but I did find it difficult to get into once I started. There was A TON of set up, just describing who Amy is, who her family and peers are, who the children are in personality and physicality, who the dog is, everyone’s temperaments, routines, etc. By the way the beginning was so drawn out, I thought there would be more plot line around the children or like schoolyard bullying, but now I think that maybe those beginning scenes describing Theo’s temper were there in order to talk about Dan, the dad, aging. There was just a lot of set up that I won’t say was unnecessary, because I’m not sure, but it took a while, in my opinion, to get into what the actual story was.
Later, when she watches her VR multiverse life for the first time, the repetition of the sequences confused me (my faulty, not the author’s). But I had to go back and read that a few times to make sure I wasn’t reading the same page I’d just read.
Then, the situation with Dan and Japan and that whole “affair”. Did he or did he not go? My understanding was that he went to Japan and nothing physical happened. And then he lies to his so about it and sticks to that lie?? He also discusses it later and the details really get muddled for me. I wondered if this was a device, as in virtual reality/the multiverse, no one was there to witness the thing/make those decisions, so no one knows what really happened, so he can shape the story the way he wants by lying and/ or telling himself a different truth? Or was the writing just confusing for me? Please, someone tell me what happened with Dan.
A note on the running: I wonder if this resonates more with people who enjoy running.
Even though we only saw “the tip of the iceberg” with Amy’s multiverse life, the fact that she was only truly happy in one of them is at once upsetting and reassuring, just because it serves to let the reader know that life isn’t perfect, etc. Or a more bleak angle: You’re not likely to end up happy so just try to be appreciative. Which I guess isn’t that sad, because even in that model, there will be times of joy, etc.
Overall, I didn’t love the book, though I did appreciate the themes. It just seemed like a lot of build up to a little bit of hope, then back to regularity.
QUESTIONS
What is Dan’s deal? Is he lying, or what really happened with that?
Why does Kevin’s mom care that he never experienced sex? Is this because he’s a boy or is it some reproductive thing?
Would you watch the multiverse outcomes of your own life, if given the chance?